Trigger warning: I do make a small reference to suicide in this post.  

I’ve struggled to articulate my reaction to the recent developments in our federal workforce. The discriminatory practices and fear tactics aimed at intimidating and reducing federal personnel are appalling. To my colleagues in the federal system, I see you and the challenges you are facing. I stand in solidarity with you and I am saddened by what you are experiencing. 

It’s unsettling how federal workers are being marginalized. What is happening in the federal system is a microcosm of what is happening in our nation. As a country, we struggle to recognize the humanity of the other side. We all have our blind spots, myself included, but it is dangerous to accept false narratives as truth and shape our actions and behaviors accordingly. You can replace federal workers with groups like immigrants, women, people of color, the working class, or members of the LGBTQ community. I’ve seen this same rhetoric of viewing groups as less than, pathologizing them, and deeming them deserving of harm in both my professional and personal life. Now, the federal workforce is the victim of this dangerous rhetoric: They are lazy and inefficient and therefore do not deserve their jobs. I hope to challenge this false narrative by sharing my own experience in federal service. 

I spent the first part of my career at the Department of Veterans Affairs (VA), one of the largest federal agencies, as a Licensed Clinical Psychologist. I know firsthand that federal employees and the individuals and families they serve are among the hardest working people. Many did not join the federal workforce for competitive salaries or cushy jobs, but to have a meaningful role and to be true public servants. Securing a federal position is also challenging and time-consuming as it requires specialized experience and performance-based interviews. I completed nine years of higher-level education in addition to two years of specialized internship and residency training before securing a permanent position in the federal workforce.

I had always wanted to work for the VA because of how much it helped my dad when I was growing up. In the 1990s, a VA social worker was the first to tell my dad, “I think you have PTSD,” following his combat tour in Vietnam, and where he received the help he needed. His experience had a direct impact on my initial career choice. Although he is no longer here, the honor and respect I have for my time at the VA and the veterans I served remains steadfast. I know I am not unique among my colleagues in providing integral support to our nation’s veterans. I’ve had patients tell me directly, “Doc, I would have killed myself if it wasn’t for you.” I’ve seen grown men reduced to tears as they share how they aren’t sure how to show love to their kids after returning from a combat tour. I’ve witnessed female veterans admitting they’ve been told their service doesn’t matter because they are women. I’ve reached out to families of deceased veterans to ensure their needs were met after their loved ones’ passing. Being labeled as inefficient, replaceable, or lazy federal workers is therefore incredibly disheartening. 

I recognize a part of this false perception is fueled by the expansion of remote roles in federal service and the idea that federal workers are not actually working while collecting a paycheck. During the last four years of my VA career, I worked in a completely virtual role. Contrary to being unproductive or checked out, I was able to maximize my time and serve our nation’s veterans more efficiently. Instead of wasting time commuting to a distant office, I started my day before most clinics opened and worked longer hours. I often had only short breaks throughout the day because my calendar was overbooked. Being a virtual employee allowed me to serve more veterans nationwide, not just within my city. My productivity often outpaced in-person offerings because of the flexibility and versatility of the virtual model. I served veterans and their partners who had been waiting months at their local site for couples counseling. I was able to screen and triage veterans in need of a higher level of care before they faced a medical or mental health crisis across sites and not just at one location. I wore many hats at the VA in program development, consultation, and trainee/staff training and was able to reach a larger base of both internal and external stakeholders because of the remote nature of my role. I will also admit that being a virtual provider kept me in the federal workforce much longer than if I had been mandated to report in person. Therefore, telework is a strong incentive for employee retention and was my experience in federal service. Forcing my colleagues, who also serve most of their clients and various stakeholders remotely, to return to an office that likely doesn’t have space for them and to see individuals who aren’t local to their site seems contrary to the goal of improved efficiency. I know their jobs are incredibly demanding, and threatening them only exacerbates the challenges they face day to day.

I fear the danger of the false narrative of federal workers will not only impact their livelihoods but the communities in which they are part of. For the US Department of Veterans Affairs, it will directly impact the services our nation’s veterans receive and serve as a catalyst for poorer health outcomes and even death. If federal workers fear they may be terminated at any time or are asked to respond to unnecessary queries, they will lose the focus and ability to provide exceptional care to our veterans and their morale will be depleted. I see the outrage and fear in response to what federal workers are experiencing now and know there are large sects of people in this country who are united in advocating against injustice. My hope is this post may also challenge the perception of those who remain indifferent. 

*As a reminder, this blog is for educational purposes only and should not be viewed as a substitute for mental health or medical guidance from your healthcare provider. If you or a loved one is experiencing an acute crisis, please contact 911 or the National Crisis line at 988.

*I am currently not an employee of federal service and the opinions voiced above are my own and not a reflection of the US Department of Veteran Affairs or other federal service

For many, the holiday season brings joy, but for others, it can evoke feelings of loneliness and disappointment. The recent presidential election has left many feeling invalidated and fearful of what lies ahead. In such a climate, it can be challenging to embrace a celebratory mood, and it’s important to acknowledge and create space for these feelings. Drawing from my decade-long experience as a clinical psychologist and healthcare professional, I’d like to share some tips for managing the stress that often accompanies this time of year.

1. Practice compassion with yourself and others. Meet people where they are at and respect their limitations. Your elderly parents may not be physically or mentally able to participate in holiday festivities the way they once could. Your brother who just had a baby may not be sleeping well and not be as involved as he has been in the past. Your partner may be tied up with work and may not help out as much as she would like. Others may simply prefer a quieter, simpler holiday season. 
2. The holidays may also amplify feelings of loneliness as everyone around you seemingly has a loving family to celebrate with. Lean into your community for support during this time. If you know someone has just relocated to a new city or does not have family or friends in the area, consider including them in your holiday plans if you are able. I cannot tell you how many times clients have expressed feeling less alone in the world by a simple invitation to a social gathering. 
3. Don’t overschedule yourself or your family or extend yourself beyond your financial means. Give yourself permission to say no and to lean into moments of reflection and gratitude. This is true for so many people and may resonate especially with parents of young kids. As your children grow, they will remember how they felt in your presence above all else.  
4. Family traditions are a beautiful experience to pass down to the next generation but if the practices become antiquated or not sustainable, it’s okay to begin new traditions and say no to past practices. It’s important to remember that saying no or suggesting a change should never be a cause for shame.
5. For many people, the holidays can be a reminder of those who are no longer here. For others, it can bring back painful memories of the past. If you are in this space, carve out time for your grief, but do not isolate completely from your support network. If you know someone grieving, consider reaching out directly. 
6. Commit to acts of kindness or support to others. We tend to benefit greatly from helping others and this time of year highlights the privileges we have. Remember your support doesn’t always have to be monetary. You can show up for people in so many other ways, like making time to grab a coffee with an old friend, offering to watch a friend’s kids for an afternoon (with their permission, of course), or helping a neighbor by picking up their trash.
7. Continue your healthy routines as much as you’re able to, but don’t be too hard on yourself if you are not on schedule perfectly. Commit to sleeping regularly, staying active, and eating in moderation.  
8. Check in with your work colleagues at this time. Some of them may need support from you for coverage or planned leave time. Others may prefer to work during this time of year and would be happy to support you in taking time off. Work isn’t everything for most people but for many it is a big part of their identity and it can be hard to take time off. For a lot of people, taking regular scheduled days off can reduce feelings of burnout and stress, but for many professionals (e.g., healthcare workers, police force, military), working during the holidays might be unavoidable. If you fall into that category, consider taking time off before or after the holiday season or collaborating on shared coverage.
9. Spend time with people who allow you to be your authentic self and take note of how calm or stressed you feel around different groups. Evaluate how support is reciprocated in your relationships and consider setting boundaries with those who take too much from you, seem one-sided, or do not consider your feelings.
10. Remember you are not alone. The older I get and the more experience I gain as a clinical psychologist,I’ve come to understand that we are more alike than we realize. Your neighbor wants his children to be safe at school. Your colleague hopes for good health for her parents. Your friend wishes her father could see her children grow up. Our shared humanity is our greatest strength.

In closing, for some, the holidays come and go, and life quickly returns to normal. For others, it can be a painful reminder that they are not moving forward. If you or a loved one feels stuck, please know help is available. Meeting with a mental health professional can bring you the clarity you need to move forward.

As we embark on a new year, it’s easy to fall into the trap of setting lofty New Year’s goals and overwhelming ourselves with overly scheduled lives. This year, I challenge you to do less and be more intentional with your time. This isn’t about lacking motivation or giving up on your dreams. Instead, it’s about critically examining your daily schedule. We often overschedule ourselves and our children. As a parent, I know the struggle of balancing keeping my kids busy enough but not to the point of exhaustion.

Part of the challenge is leaning into experiences and people who make your life more meaningful while having the courage to say no at times. When we reclaim our schedules, we can better prioritize our physical and mental health, our sleep, and our relationships. The US Surgeon General identified loneliness as a public health concern in 2023. I believe part of the issue is that we are sometimes too busy to reach out and spend time with the people who matter most. Our schedules are filled with work and extracurricular activities, leaving us with little time or energy for meaningful interactions.

As women, we rarely give ourselves the time to just be, without taking care of others’ needs. So, as we begin this new year, rather than burdening yourself with numerous New Year’s goals, I challenge you to take something off your plate. Ask yourself, “Do I really need to do this right now?” Use a journal or activity monitoring form to see how you’re spending your time each day, and consider incorporating more unstructured time for creativity and meaning-making. Keeping your schedule more open allows for meaningful interactions instead of defaulting to “I don’t have time.” 

By taking a step back, you can prioritize what is most meaningful to you and your family and be more intentional about leading a life aligned with your core values.

As a reminder, this blog is for educational purposes only and should not be viewed as a substitute for mental health or medical guidance from your healthcare provider. If you or a loved one is experiencing an acute crisis, please contact 911 or the National Crisis line at 988.